I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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