What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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