You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
They took my balls.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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