Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
