What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize