I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
