My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
