Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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