Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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