she looked like the before picture.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
