...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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