My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
