Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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