that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
