Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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