I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
