All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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