:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize