He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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