...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm like, not good at living.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize