Porn is love you can see.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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