He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
