You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
