he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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