your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
