idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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