So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize