I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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