whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
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Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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