fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
