Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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