so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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