I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
