did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize