Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
