i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
