is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
