I think my fart just growled at me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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