I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
