Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize