I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
