When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
