i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
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The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
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