did you get engaged???
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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