I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
