You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
