My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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