does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
