I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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