Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
