Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
