2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
