I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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