i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
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I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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