pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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