There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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