Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
