you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize