the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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