My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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