mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize