yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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