zippers are such a cool invention
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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