Your tits are I can't wait for
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
